October 31, 2010

My first thought when I woke up this morning was 'thank you.' I know I felt joy one year ago today when Casher was released from the hospital for the second and final time. I was beyond tired, beyond fatigued, beyond emotion. In the midst of the toughest circumstances in my life, I was grateful for Casher's life and grateful that God saw me through the three weeks of hospitalization after his lung collapsed on October 11. Waking up this morning one year after those events, I am humbled beyond words. What haven't you provided for me Lord? When have you not been with me holding my hand and been a lamp unto my feet to guide the way? The deep gratitude I feel is possible because the dark and hard times I went through.

I'm thankful for my son. I'm thankful for his vibrant life. I'm thankful for this year of watching him grow and laugh and love. For my husband's strength and love. For our friends and family and all the prayers for us and all the caring you bestowed on us.

I remember praying at one point during my pregnancy when we found out our baby was in trouble for God to make it all better. I told him I didn't want to be a deeper person for this experience, let me skip it! That wasn't his plan as we know now. But standing on this side of all of it, I am so much deeper - my love. my gratitude. my joy. my peace.

Here are three photos. One of Casher with his chest tube, pretty darn sick last October. Then a few days after his release last Halloween at our dear friends Cheryl and Don's. And one taken yesterday of a little person vibrant with the gift of life.

October

Last October 1st Casher was released from the hospital. I remember walking out of the hospital doors with him and tearing up thinking this is his first breath of fresh air. It was a beautiful fall day in Denver. I was beyond grateful, overwhelmed, exhausted, exuberant...how many emotions can live in one person at one time?! I remember all of your support at that time and I can't believe how wonderful you are that you are still following our amazing little journey.

Our little Casher is amazing himself. He has healed. His scar from the g-tube looks really good. It healed up perfectly. He is off of the formula and drinking whole milk like a champ. He is eating more and more and his gas pain and all pain associated is pretty much gone. He is still on prevacid which helps with reflux and it does seem to help him still so we are thankful that is working.

As you can see from the photos he is super busy and super adorable. I think it is safe to say that if you have followed us this far you agree that he is adorable. He is walking more and more - still a little unstable but getting there. He is in the Children's Program at BSF, the bible study I attend, every Thursday morning. He loves to eat his snacks, play with his aunts, go out in his wagon, pat Ginny, and explore and climb everything! Life is good. God is good.